Dancing With My Shadow — A Note From Madam Storm
I’ve been doing the work, ladies.
I’ve been sitting with my shadow self.
As a therapist, coach, and trainer, I’m always searching for research, techniques, and tools to help me better understand myself—and my shadow. Because when I heal, evolve, and expand, I bring that wisdom into every session. Your growth is deeply connected to mine.
In my recent training, I came across a powerful technique on how to talk to your shadow.
First of all, you have to thank your trauma.
Yes, I know. It sounds counterintuitive—maybe even ridiculous. But it’s one of the most powerful steps in shadow integration.
Here’s why:
Your trauma didn’t just break you. It built parts of you. It created your defences, your personas, your patterns, your power. When we constantly reject or shame our trauma, we reject the very parts of us that were born to survive.
Thanking your trauma is about acknowledgement. It’s saying, “I see what you did to keep me safe. I no longer need all those defences—but I honour why you were there.”
This shift changes everything. It softens the resistance. It opens a doorway for healing. And it prepares you for the next step: the two-chair work.
I’d done chair work before through my Gestalt therapy training, but I’d never used it specifically with my shadow self. When I finally did—it cracked me open.
Here’s how it works:
- Set up two chairs.
- In one, you sit as your conscious self.
- The other chair stays empty—it’s for your shadow.
- Speak to your shadow. Ask questions. Then switch chairs and respond as your shadow.
This practice is powerful because it breaks the internal silence. It forces your hidden parts into the light. You might cry. You might rage. You might remember things you haven’t touched in years.
One powerful question to begin with:
✨ When was the first time you needed to protect me? ✨
The answers will move you.
So what do you do with what your shadow reveals?
- You listen. Without rushing to fix or deny.
- You feel. The grief, the anger, the shame—feel it fully.
- You thank. Your shadow for its service, even if its methods were messy.
- You integrate. You decide what you want to keep, what you want to release, and what you want to transform.
For me, this process brought clarity. I’ve been working with my shadow for over 20 years. Every one of my services was born from my trauma. My pain shaped my Dom persona—I created her strong, untouchable, fierce. She was my protector.
Through that alchemy, my sexual energy awakened, and I evolved into the dominatrix you now know as Madam Storm.
If you’re ready to explore your shadow and unlock the power hidden within your story, I invite you to book a Kink Therapy session with me. This is more than talk therapy. It’s embodied. It’s deep. It’s bold.
Together, we’ll create a safe, intentional space for transformation. A space where kink meets healing, where power meets vulnerability, and where your shadow can finally be heard.